Beauty from ashes

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a] 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. – Isaiah 61: 1-3

Month: November, 2012

“What makes certain things in each of our lives just so hard to let go of? What is it that we get out of these things that make us not be able to let go? Holding on puts us in so much pain. But yet we put ourselves, knowingly, through this pain. Why is it that we can’t let go. Why is it that we are so attached to these things. And what do we do when the best thing is to let go and that is the only thing we can not do?” – Anonymous

Hungry I come to you

Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You’re all
This heart is living for

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

Was singing this yesterday at church and it really spoke to me. I am so unbelievably broken running to Him. His arms are open wide for me, all I have to do is draw near to Him. Such comforting words…

Thankful

Today, I am thankful. As I should be everyday and there are days I am. 

I could list all the things I’m thankful for….but I think it wouldn’t even touch the tip of the iceberg for the things I am thankful for and for the things I could/should be as well. 

So I’ll just say…I’m thankful….

Rest in peace..

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone is well and enjoying their time with their families.

This day, November 22, has also another meaning to me as well. 18 years ago, someone close to me ended his life. Although all the things I remember of him are from pictures and what others have told me, his memory still lives on…within me and anyone else who knew him. Depression has a way of creeping up on you and leave you feeling empty/hopeless/helpless/worthless/guilty and other feelings that could lead to ending your own life. It is a very serious illness that is easily missed and misdiagnosed. If you know someone that is having a difficult time, please…please reach out to them. A listening ear could go a long way. Once they’re gone…they’re gone. About a year ago, I had an unexpected chance meeting with someone that knew him from highschool. I heard more stories and more of what he was like and there was some comfort in that. But that’s all they will be—stories, and that’s as close as I will have ever been to him. That person that knew my brother- is now married and has children. I can only imagine what my brother’s life would have been if he were still alive. He may even have had the opportunity to start his own family as well. If you are struggling with this, please don’t ever think that no one cares about you, or that no one is there for you. Because someone always is- whether you know it or not- whether you want to realize it or not. It’s been 18 years and I still think about him this time of year. I don’t say this lightly when I say I am here for ANYONE that is in struggle. I’m not good at giving advice, but the least I can do is listen and pray. My number is (267) 210 -0101 and my email is eternalized@gmail.com. If you cannot reach out to me, then please, anyone that you trust….

Let your trust be not in yourself but in our Lord – who is our protector, our shield, our Father. Sharing the love, mercy, and care that God has showed us to others might not seem much in our eyes, but it could be saving another person’s life.

Rest in peace my brother, Woo Seok Soe. Your time on earth may have been filled with pain and sorrow, but I pray and hope that God has shown you the goodness of His love, and that you were received with a joyous reception in the presence of the Lord. You are greatly missed.

Please research and find out more about depression here and other reliable information websites: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-symptoms-and-types

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Career

Right now….first time that im reconsidering architecture..as I wait for my train..

I guess after this time I think if I dont get in, itll be my last try and….part of me has already determined that I wont get in.

Well I guess these thoughts came about bc I was thinking…I want to get married (most likely not for the right reasons and since everyone seems to be getting engaged) …and I was thinking if I could get married sooner..I would be happy with doing something else like product design or such.

I guess also..seeing the people suffer in arch grad school…doesnt make it appealing. I want to do well…not under so much stress and with so much other work. I want to do well…not do half ass work bc I havent slept for a week…but I guess thats everyone..but still. Dunno if thats the way for me…

Been reconsidering and finding out things….like how I enjoy web designing…but I still cant see that as any future/career. Maybe I can make some money…but nothing serious. But also realized I enjoy product designing and designing kn general. Think ill be happy going to product design masters.

Also been considering westmins counseling program…haha

I guess ill stop my train ramblings now

Numbness does not hurt like torture, but in a quite parallel way, numbness robs us of our capability for humanity.

– Walter Brueggemann