I meant to post this last week, but just never got around to doing it. Lately, I’ve been feeling just very tired and I have been sleeping and taking naps more.
Anyways, last week, I surprised the people I love/care for with little gifts on valentine’s day. Although valentine’s day is a little silly (you shouldn’t just show love on one day, but everyday!), I still wanted to show appreciation to the sisters in my life and give back a little of it to them so I did what I do best..make things! Made a 3D pixelated heart card, peppermint white chocolate pretzels, and gave them each one a rose.
For me, it’s really joyous to give a gift and I really love seeing people’s responses. Thus, I love surprising people and such, haha. I put the gifts on the 2nd floor, so there will be an element of surprise when I lead the girls to them. So, I found 4 of the girls on the 1st floor, so I took them up and surprised them, and we hugged and it was good :]. Then the 5th one was lost and didn’t know where we went, she was in the original place. When we all came down, I told them to hide their gifts so that it isn’t ruined for her. I think all of them had this weird expression on their faces- trying not to smile and laugh and keeping a straight face. The 5th girl took this as a bad thing, that they were actually sad, but trying to keep a smiling face. Interesting how things can be viewed so differently. One of the other sisters told her to go up with me, and so she started to, but she felt very scared (1. because of the weird expressions and 2. because she didnt know what was coming 3. she was going up alone), so she actually went back down and said she didn’t want to go. In my mind, I thought it was hilarious, because in the end, the result will be happiness/joy, so I was thinking, she has nothing to be afraid of. Reluctantly, she did come up with me, with waryness/nervousness/fear. She even said she felt like she was walking to her death. In the end, she was surprised and she felt bad on what she thought. haha, it was an overall funny experience for me since I knew what was at the end of it all.
After thinking about it, the way she acted is how we act with God. He’s leading us, ultimately to something good. But during the journey, we run away/hesistate/go back to our comfort zone, because for some reason or another we feel very scared/helpless/nervous about what lies ahead of us. Since we don’t know what may be in the future, instead of holding God’s hand and having him lead the way, we lose sight that He is there, and instead focus on the fears that are instilled upon us during that time. We lose sight that there will be goodness and greatness waiting for us.
I think this just reminded me how I act with God and how I can be so unsure of the future, so I run away and sometimes, I want to be lost. So that God doesn’t see me, but the thing is, He does. He sees and knows everything about me, a scary but a very good thing.